Your Romantic Love Life, Truth, Preferences and Worth

 Sometimes people with whom we begin a romantic relationship exit our lives. Any self-denigration that is based on whether or not a person is in your life must be transformed by viewing that person with the same compassion and understanding as if you were the one to exit. I believe you would wish the person well and hope that he or she would be perfectly fine without you.

Now, suppose you meet a new and wonderful person whom you view as a potential partner. As time passes, you get to see what that person is all about. During this time it is crucial that you show the real you, and never put on an act for any reason. As you get to know someone new, notice how you feel when you are with him or her.

Do you feel joy? Do you love his or her company? Do you feel chemistry? Can you talk about anything? Do you feel love? Okay, now suppose you feel this way and the relationship progresses to a point where suddenly you no longer like what you are seeing or how you are being treated. What then?

Here's a purely hypothetical example. Let's say I met Mr. Incredible, and we got to know each other, and got very close. Then all of a sudden I started hearing things such as "Honey, it's dinner time." I would not want to go any further with this person unless he understood and agreed that I, personally, do not have a "dinner time" because I eat only when I want to. If he thinks I'm going to conform to some kind of a domestic schedule, he's with the wrong woman.

Now, I use this example because this is how I truly feel, and because it easily shows you how a person can have very different preferences that truly do not match your lifestyle. For this reason alone, the person can decide that he or she does not want to continue in a relationship with you. Obviously, this would have nothing to do with your worth.

Here's another example. I don't have a bedtime, and I would not want to share a bedroom with a partner. How's that for individuality. I prefer my own bedroom, and if I ever heard "Honey, it's time to come to bed," I would immediately think to myself, "Barbara, it's time to get out of this relationship." As odd as it may sound, this is my personal preference, my truth. And I would not all of a sudden turn myself into what someone else wanted me to be just to please him at the expense of my truth.

You also have personal preferences. They may be the exact opposite of mine. Does this make either of us less worthy? No, of course not! So if someone is no longer in your life, perhaps he or she just preferred to live a different lifestyle. When someone leaves a relationship with you, it neither validates nor invalidates your worth.

Your love life is based on living your truth at all times without control, manipulation, games, abuse, or force of any kind. This includes twisting yourself into all shapes and forms just to please someone else.

The Loser's Guide to Dating

Have you heard of the Law of Averages? It is a belief that an event is due to happen. In dating, this is most of the time an advantage and sometimes, a burden. When you seem to fail in the dating department, the Law of Averages is your only hope. And if you are looking for some tips to back you up, here is the loser's guide to dating that can surely come handy for you:

1. Always be neat - This doesn't mean that you have to look like those nerds with your hair brushed up. You simply need to smell good, have a decent haircut, clean and sparkly white teeth, and an outfit that is harmonious with your eye color and is just right for your size. All these you need to be able to make a good impression to your date. If you are still in your sweat pants and still not, in any manner, the guy described here, then, I suggest that you go back home and fix yourself before you ruin your chance of a pleasing evening.

2. Let the fear disappear - The most difficult thing that you will be facing is the fear to get rejected. This is actually the result of all the rejections that you have experienced in your dating life. Making you quit and hide rather than try again. Life sucks and we know that. Take it this way. It's just a date. If she doesn't like you, it's her loss. She missed a chance to meet someone really special who will make her feel special as well. Besides, there are many fishes in the see. Tomorrow's another day.

3. Be unpredictable and mysterious - What separates jocks from losers is their ability to be spontaneous, unpredictable and mysterious. They are always fun to be with and they carry this "I- don't-care or I-don't-give-a-damn" attitude. They are the go getters. They highly think of themselves and they set their own rules. They don't let anyone mess with these rules, making them look tougher. The loser's guide to dating tells you that you better start learning how to be unpredictable and mysterious. Instead of calling her right after a date, control yourself and keep her guessing and wondering when you are going to. And when you finally call, catch her off guard by asking her for coffee or even dinner right away. This will surely make her dig you more for your spontaneity.

4. Confidence is the key - As we all know, women always go gaga over men who are confident and decisive. It's normal for women to look for men whom they can lean on when trouble comes. Remember that women always seek security. Once you are out on a date with your girl, take control of the situation. You need to be decisive. Be prepared and always be ready with a back-up plan. Just in case that a date at the beach gets busted since it's pouring.

5. Pay attention - Let her talk, women love talking. You make their day when you listen. They will definitely appreciate you when once listen to them. But you should not just listen. It is pretty necessary that you take mental notes on almost every word that comes out of her mouth. It might be her favorite food or place. These details can come in handy on your next date with her. She will be impressed the moment you rattle it all back at her. It will only show that you care about the things that are important for her. Trust me. They appreciate it big time when you remember.

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